Getting Loose

The Good Physician

Man it was very, very tender to the touch.

My first thought was, "Man, I do not remember banging my head this bad!" Yet there was a slightly raised place on my skull like from a concussion, yet it felt a little crusty. I thought, "What is up with that? Psoriasis?"

Then I noticed above my sideburn there was the same thing. Then I noticed I had some hives by my eye and lip and on my cheek. So I tried 25 mg. of Benedryl. Didn’t even phase it. So before I went to work, I got some Claritin to deal with the wheals. Still nothing. It looked like a pimple or two was trying to form by my lower lip. I thought, "Have I been eating all that fat or greasy of foods? What is up with THIS?"

Next I began to notice some recurring shooting of pain on my head on these spots. And I thought, "Man, what is up WITH THIS?"

I went to bed after having taken some acetaminophen (which I rarely take), but about by 1 a.m., the shooting pain woke me up. And I thought, "Man, What is UP WITH THIS?" I could not go back to sleep. I did not know what to do. I began to think, "Man, I wonder if I have the shingles?"

But then I thought, "Why it can’t be the shingles. I’ve already had that shingles shot that all the old folks are supposed to take." Another shooting pain occurred, and I thought, "Man, what IS UP WITH THIS?"

I went to a web site and just tried to use it like a recipe book. I have these symptoms, tell me what I got. But wouldn’t you know it, I could find no such site. I thought, "Man, WHAT IS UP WITH THIS?"

Now, just to touch the scalp area was painful. The right side of my neck was swollen. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I said, "MAN, WHAT IS UP WITH THIS?"

I began to focus on that maybe I did have shingles after all. Nothing else made sense to me. Of course, I went to the dark side for a moment, and thought maybe I have some weird stage four cancer that is erupting. And then I thought, "Well, no. That is unlikely. I just had a well man physical. Something would have shown up in the blood work."

The pain was getting greater. I thought, "I wonder if I have any hydrocodones left over?" Eureka! I popped two into my mouth at about 3 a.m. Within 20 minutes I was drifting off to sleep.

I made an appointment to see my internist. He is a neat, very knowledgeable, board certified kind of a guy. I love our give and take and verbal sparring. He walked into the room and I said, "I just want to see if you are as good of a diagnostician as I am."

Not taking to it kindly he said, "Listen up! I am better than you are."

I said, "I hope you are, but I just wanted to see if you are at least as good as me. I’m guessing Herpes zoster."

He said, "I knew that before I even came into the room."

I said, "Oh, come on, give me a freaking break. You may be a doctor, but you are not a wizard. Oh, I get it, you heard it from one of your technicians whom I told her that that is what I thought I had!"

He said, "Wrong, camel breath. When I saw on the chart that you had some pain on the right side of your scalp and on top, I said to myself, I said, ‘That dude has shingles.’ When I walked into the door and saw your face my diagnosis was confirmed!"

I said, "Well, you really are a pretty good diagnostician."

Then I sat down and shut up and listened as he lectured me.

Bringing in the New Year

Many people are saying that they are dead. That FB and Twitter are becoming the media of information exchange about what is going on inside.

I don’t fully agree despite my terrible negligence of this medium.

But . . . on New Year’s Eve, my son Micah was with me, and he condescended to spend some time with his old man. So, I thought to treat him, I would cook us a meal. Thank you Mark Bittman!

I made (all of this from scratch):

• Parmesan spread for toast using the real Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
• Spaghetti with eggplant
• Pan grilled salmon fillets with lentils (though I should have checked ahead of time for thyme and bay leaves and chives which I did not have—that would have immensely helped the lentil flavoring, but I did use some parsley)
• Braised butternut squash with garlic
• Dinner rolls
• Caramelized Granny Smith apples

My goodness, did we have some leftovers or what?

Big Brother Alive and Well in the Bluegrass State

This is a very thorny issue. There is no black and white. Only shades of gray.

Apparently, the Board of Ordained Ministry (BOM) of the Louisville Area of the United Methodist Church is asking candidates for ministry to "friend" Kelly McDonald, not even on the BOM, in order to engage in "Big Brother" monitoring.

Now, to be fair to the Kentucky Annual Conference’s BOM, apparently a prospective "employer" can indeed ask for a FaceBook password (and other social media of its ilk)—just like they can ask for a psychological exam, testamentary evidence from former employers, a physical exam, etc. Of course, a "prospective employee" is not obligated to provide that password, but then neither is the prospective employer obligated to "hire" said prospective employee.

Of course, though, the BOM of the KY conference could do all sorts of workarounds without blatantly asking for "friending." And there is nothing to stop a person who is a friend, and also not under an obligation of any kind of confidentiality, from printing off what he or she reads in the content of a candidate who posted straying words or anathematized behavior.

Yet, for a prospective "employer" to demand such a thing invites all sorts of negative publicity, such as the attention of the ACLU. My experience is that bishops have an instinctual loathing of lawsuits and most will accommodate to a large degree to avoid one without violating conscience or integrity.

If there are "prospective employees" looking at the Kentucky Annual Conference and do not like what they are being asked to do, there are plenty of other conferences who have no such standard for employment.

It’s as simple as that, and as thorny as that.

Very Powerful

6

I know.  It's half a dozen.  It's the natural number between 5 and 7.

But it also happens to be the number of chin-ups I did in a row last Friday for the first time in over 40 years! (and this is a new sentence--I discovered after some research that this is my personal best EVER)

And I'm not talking about those kind of chin-ups where you jump up to the bar and on the momentum of the way up just happen to squeeze out one.  I'm talking dead hang, to chin over the bar, back to dead hang.

How do I account for it?  I changed up the way I have been working out.  I still do cardio-vascular 3 times a week, but now I do weight 4 days a week in addition.  And I have been doing weight exercises that have been targeting my bi's, delt's, and tri's.  I no longer do sets of exercises, but use more weight for a single set of repetitions.

Amazing

I was turned on to this by my cousin.

 

Simply amazing.

Crazy

"This is crazy! This is crazy! This is crazy! This is crazy!"

That’s what she spoke as I talked to her in the chapel just before the general public was to enter. And indeed, she was right. Her husband of just a few years, dead at 36. So senseless. So stupid. So very crazy.

But that is what an addictive disease can do to you. It can make you act crazy. It can make the lives of the people around you that you love the very most, crazy. And it can come to a stark and senseless end. Way before it should have.

There are just no adequate words to say that will make anything better anytime soon. And some people say the most stupid things in an earnest effort at trying to be helpful, when silence and presence would do so very much more.

But my heart went out to her. Two grade school children whose daddy is gone. And though she may never be able to grasp this, though she will always wonder what she could have done differently, she really did do the absolute very best that she knew how to. She went the second mile. And the third mile. And the fourth mile. And the . . .

Sometimes, things in life are just tragic.

Kathryn

You learn a lot when you go to see someone, and just sit and listen. I love doing that very thing.

I had always known her as Kathryn. She has a rather serious look to her face. I know that she has traveled lots of miles so to speak in her journey of life.  She’ll admit it has been a pretty good one for her many decades.

But when she was much younger, she was Kate or Katie. I found that intriguing. All of a sudden a younger girl appeared who was full of life and activities that involved siblings and cousins—never mind whether they were first or second—they were kin and that is all that mattered.

She’s outlived two of the children she helped to rear. She has outlived two of her husbands, and some days are better than others.

She gets frustrated with her inability to precisely call a name or a date or a place, but the older I get, the more I sympathize.

But what really stunned me was that she was a Beckendorf. And that set of dogs is always related to each other through one way or another. Of course the one I knew the best was Harvey Beckendorf, a fellow clergyman. And then I found out there’s another Beckendorf who is pastoring a church in Beaumont under another name. I felt a kinship with her that I had not previously felt.

She was so appreciative of the visit. It made her day. She said, "You know, you can hardly find anyone anymore who cares about what it was like in days gone by."

But that is not me. I love to hear the stories of days gone by. I find myself, the older I get, ruminating around in my mind decades ago, reliving, dissecting, analyzing, wondering, puzzling about events that I feel certain most everyone else has forgotten about.  But somehow they linger brightly in my mind. Why that is so, I don’t really know.

Violet

prepared a wonderful meal. Many different courses.   Beautiful terraced cottage.  A beautiful personality that just fills the room with light!

She also had a wonderful pudding for dessert, and finished off with a cheese plate of three wonderful cheeses. Oh, my, I hope I did not look too much like un porc!

Of course we finished with tea . . . that's hot tea to your Yanks.

Farewell

It’s now the night before we are to leave tomorrow.

I have very mixed feelings.  I did not know what this experience would bring me.  I tried to be as open as I knew how to allow to emerge whatever was going to emerge.

I come away with an appreciation for heritage.  In American we think things are old at 50 years.  In the British Isles, you have to get a few hundred years under your belt before you are talking about some serious history.

I have an enhanced appreciation for social conventions and customs.  Having tea is a civilizing process as much as it is taking a break. 

I have learned that you do not always have to be in a hurry at break neck speed.

I have learned that you simply cannot do everything, but you can do some things, and that is sufficient.

I have learned on the whole how polite the English people are to each other, and how effusive they are in greeting one another.  I have also experienced their generosity—not in just a monetary way, but also of their time.  Time has always been extraordinarily precious to me, and they willingly share it with you.  That is a luxury that stupefies me.  I need to learn that lesson better than I have.

I have learned how very different the polities and customs are of the Methodist cousins across the sea.  I can see that the United Methodist Church operates far closer to how the Church of England does things, than to how British Methodism does things.

I remember thinking as I walked around from time to time that I may be seeing people who are distantly related to me.  I have roots in England with the Gifford and Anderson and Taylor names.

I have learned how differently at times we use the same language.

I have also learned that I want to come back some day and experience more than I possibly could on this trip.  Maybe get into Scotland and Ireland and France as well.

 I have loved the weather as much as these people may want to complain.  At least it was not 100° F with 100% humidity like Houston.  I think our entire range in England was 78° maximum, and 48° minimum!

I will never, ever, ever forget these wonderful English.